So after coming full circle on developing a gentle spirit and such; it has become apparent it is time to harden the external self; to combine these two in a way that will ultimately unlock the mental AND physical poweress of the human subject using this guide.
Step 1 - Stare down a ninja once a day.
Failing to find a ninja once a day; standing in a cross walk and staring down an oncoming SUV will also do. Please stay INSIDE the crosswalk as it is the only way you will get your monetary bonus award should you refuse to chicken out before the SUV.
Should a collision be immanent, remember when you were a kid playing foot ball, or riding bicycles in a dangerous fashion (Leading to collisions.), there was one simple rule for winning a collision; you must carry forth more speed and mass then the SUV; when you have perfected this, your barbarian body will actually cleave the SUV in twain. (That means half.)
Also keep in mind; during the winter the amount of ninjas roaming the streets increases dramatically; approching these ninja mask wearing individuals with a combat stance and a fiery eye full of magnitude will typically deter their ninja intentions; some will even cower in fear from you simply raising a large ice club above your head, as you attempt to over come the ninja. Day time ninjas are especially easy to stare down; as they havn't even graduated passed their fear of the dark. They are also more foolish; wearing dark colours during the bright day to blend into snow.
Step 2 - Run.
It doesn't matter where, it doesn't matter when.
Pull a Forrest Gump and just keep a runnin'.
The only time your allowed to stop running is when running no longer tires you out.
When you reach this level of no tiring, start running through knee deep snow over mountains.
Step 3 - Sword Play.
At every opportunity (The bar tender short changing you, librarians pulling tricks, babies up chucking on your shirt.) you must practice sword play; this means simply that a sequence of events occures usually in the following order:
1) INSULT - The victim of your sword play insults you.
2) SWORD PLAY - This mostly involves you chopping off their head; if they also use a sword to attempt to thwart your sword play; then extra steps towards chopping off their head as the final goal may be taken.
3) CONQUEST - Stick the point of your sword in the fallen enemies face; and parade it around high in the air; feel free to place a boot on their chest in order to strike a Hero pose.
Step 4 - Over Throw Evil Empire.
They destroyed your family; stole your life and wiped out your people. Time to grow some manhood and kill every last one of them.
There's an army of over a million?
THE LEGENDS OF YOUR DEED SHALL BE GRAND!
The million man army is hidden in the worlds most impenetrable fortress?
Don't worry! Conan's people: The Carthaginians are renowned for their climbing skills!
Make sure when you find the king, emperor, counselor, president, or prime minister of your Evil Empire of choice that you decapitate him on live television (If TV has been invented in your time frame yet.) so that the people know of their liberation; and new benevolent ruler.
Step 5 - Party Time.
You've quested and adventured and found all the wealth.
Now spend it.
Grog, and unimaginable amounts of food to consume.
Or in more modern times you could invest the money into civilization altering technologies and so forth.
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