.Things I Have Learn From Cults. (Then what I learned from myself.).

~ Masturbation is bad.

~ Sex is bad.

~ Wet dreams is bad.

(Masturbation stops bad sex, and wet dreams; want cool dreams? Don't masturbate.)

~ We are corrupt horrible disgusting creatures that some unflinchingly beautiful God thing made perfect, but we fucked everything up, cause you are a terrible, terrible, terrible human.

~ We are all One Mind experiencing itself by splitting up into billions of individual whining asshats around time/space.

(I am One Mind, running amok in a beautiful world crafted for me by a Great Architect. My mind itself was even carefully instilled with my natural attributes, which have piggy backed on top of my genetic attributes to create... ONE FUCKING AWESOME DUDE. I am not corrupt by nature, nor disgusting or in anyway part of someone else.

I am millions upon millions of cells all hurtling towards the same goals and experiences in Life.)

~ You're good, but you can be gooder, by ignoring part of yourself.

(I can only be awesome by ignoring what is false; I am what I embrace whole heartedly, and nothing less. Not to say I am that object or goal, but rather, that is what is genuine.)

~ Think positive all the time!(Shut the fuck up.)

~ You need gurus, teachers, and other dick heads, along with all the books and YouTube videos they've made,  who think they are so special to find the Secrets and Mysteries of Life.

(You need total confidence in yourself and a death spanning obsession with Finding The Truth. Oh, and Real Life.)

~ Guns are bad.

(Guns are awesome, only idiots with guns are bad, and most of those idiots have never picked up a gun till the day they shot themselves/others by accident.)

~ Guns are bad.

(Guns make a loud explosion noise and fuck shit up where ever you've pointed the thing; this is the ultimate example of 'Mechanical Perfection'.)

~ Reject everything.

(Welcome to try, but Everything has covered a better portion of the planet, so unless your ready to move yourself into solitary confinement out in the woods; then you best get used to Everything.) 

~ The Universe is my bitch, and gives me whatever I want, when I want it, how I want it, ALL THE FUCKING TIME!!! GIVE ME MORE BITCH!!!!

(I am not The Universes bitch, It is not my bitch... It gives me what I need, not what I want, and when it gives me what I want, I have to be willing to prove I want it by jumping through fire hoops suspended above lion tanks filled with sharks.)

~ Everything can be explained with words.

(You gotta eat a shit load of mushrooms/LSD and see what words cannot comprehend.)

~ Eating meat is bad.

(EATING MEAT KEEPS ME ALIVE, VIRILE, AND HEALTHY, ASSFUCKER!!!)

~ Going to McDonalds or None Fair Trade places is bad... But Karma is real.

(Look, either Karma is real, and I go to McDonald's to buy slave child made ice cream, because in a previous Life, I did shit right, and the slave child did shit wrong; OR Karma is NOT REAL, and I actually do need to make sure not to eat slave child made ice cream... This is the one time is cannot be Bolth!)

~ It is Bolth.

(It is Bolth.)

~ The other cults are evil and wrong.

(All cults are evil and wrong. They distract from your personal path.)

~ We create reality!

(Uh... Actually, Reality created US, and we added a lot of 'hyper reality' crap to it, like that garbage blowing across the field, or the toxic soup that will be formally known as The Gulf of Mexico... Good job on your test run of building reality, you broke everything, shit head.)

~ Drugs confuse your mind!

(Drugs confuse YOUR mind, drugs help me clear out all the bullshit you dipshit types try to cram into my head.)

~ Cocaine is one helluva drug!

(That it is, that it is... But there are way better drugs for way less money out there, and you can get the same effects of Coke by simply drinking some strong ass coffee and jamming out to the Beethoven, who effects the same regions of the brain as Cooooooocaaaaaaaaain!)

~ Love EVERYTHING!!!

(Maaaan, fuck you. I'm not Jesus, stop expecting me to behave as such; especially with most of the Cults bashing Jesus in the first place, then rewording all his Greatest Hits... Fuckin fruit loops.)

~ Memorizing dogmatic laws and rules to Life helps you win more!

(Incorrect, Life is a dynamic, constantly shifting array of strange, new, and unknown variables; all of which mean Bolth, but neither at the same time, as is the way. Thus any kind of 'preprogrammed' response mechanism is not genuine in it's interactions with the world around it.)